Rolando Gill’s Blog

The definition of self esteem is a confidence and satisfaction in oneself. It is evident that if we have good self esteem then we will achieve goals because we believe that we deserve them. But, what if you are not setting big goals or you are not truly chasing them. How do I improve my self esteem?

Perseverance is the real life expression of Self Discipline.

When we persevere in a task or exercise or diet then we feel better about ourselves.

Feeling better about ourselves equals increased confidence and satisfaction in oneself.

Increased self esteem then leads to a belief that we deserve more. If we believe we deserve more then we will discipline ourselves to persevere through another task or plan or diet.

Self Discipline leads to Perseverance that leads to increased Self Esteem that leads to increased self discipline.

Choosing one thing to be good at means you have to decide not to be good at other things. Isn’t that terrible. How is it possible that I can not be good at everything. I wonder if Tiger Woods ever lost sleep over that thought.

Pick one thing - Expireds, FSBO’s, SOI, Open Houses, NOD’s, Networking, Agent to Agent. Pick one.

Decide when it is ok to quit - Seth Godin says to decide in advance under what conditions you can justify quitting.

Create a plan - We have all heard that those who fail to plan, plan to fail.

Follow through on your plan for 6 months - Daily review of your plan and weekly accountability with your coach.

Reap the rewards - Get paid.

We do not like to eliminate options. Choosing something to perfect eliminates all the other ways you could be making money. Do you realize that by keeping your options open you are really just choosing mediocrity? Highly successful people eliminate options, choose one thing and perfect it. Pick something today. Choose excellence.

Every Tuesday and Thursday I go to my gym and play full court basketball with other guys my age. Established salt of the earth types between 30 to 50 years old. I went to the gym on Thursday and there was a new guy there. When I walked in he was doing handstand pushups and wearing his hair in a ponytail and culottes. Long shorts or short pants, not sure but the first word that came to mind was culottes. Anyway, he played well and seemed to have too much energy. When we were done, I walked out of the gym behind him and he got into a monster truck wrapped in black pattern. I noticed on the side window a skull and crossbones symbol. Under the skull, the words “Born Bold” appeared. I then realized that my judgements of him being a nerd or just outrageous and flamboyant demonstrated to me my need for him to conform and be “normal”. Why is it that we do that? Why do we excoriate those that are not “normal”? Seth Godin, author of The Dip, talks of the pressure to be average. I do not want to be average. Do you realize that this pressure manifests itself in so many subtle ways. Not speaking up when I have something important to say, being embarrassed to show off a talent, dressing in a socially acceptable way (the puffy shirt comes to mind). Fear of being rejected or not receiving approval from others. I then look over at some of the weirdo top producing agents in our market place and I understand that they never succumbed to the pressure to be average. Next question is, Is it necessary to pressure our kids and loved ones to be “normal”? I really would like some input on this idea and some help identifying other subtle pressures to be average. This is a conversation that I believe is of ultimate importance.

Don’t make friends who are comfortable to be with. Make friends who will force you to lever yourself up, Thomas J. Watson Sr. My mom says, lie down with dogs and you get up with fleas. Anthony Robbins tells us that peoples lives are a direct reflection of the expectations of their peer group. Who you spend time with is who you become. Every time I read that I am impacted. Gary Keller tells us that, Our life in 5 years will be a direct reflection of the people that we are hanging out with and the books we are reading today.

Monday - Choose a home that shows well.

Tuesday - Make flyers, look up and print comparable actives in the neighborhood

Wednesday - knock on 100 doors around the neighborhood inviting the neighbors and their friends to the open house on Saturday. Give the sellers their open house checklist, their homework before the open house.
Friday - Call your database and current leads and invite them to the open house. Put out 15 to 20 signs and put a sign rider on the sign in front of the house that announces the open house on Saturday.

Saturday - Arrive early, take care of any details to make the house show and smell good. Use F.O.R.D. to establish rapport quickly. Positive attitude, energy, enthusiasm and contribution. Ask for business.

Sunday - hand write thank you notes to all attendees and the seller.

Do you want to triple your results? On Monday choose three homes and on Saturday do two open houses and Sunday do one.

To play at the highest level we have to do all types of marketing, get into relationship with a lot of people, master our scripts and dialogues. Huge producers set great examples, ask them if they do open houses. Obviously there is so much more to open houses than this short outline. I am happy to help anyone with dialogues and guest register and checklists if you need it.

The dictionary defines motivation as, provided with a motive or an incentive for action.  This assumes that you have to be persuaded.  You need something to get you into action.  In other words, you do not want to move willingly towards your objective.  Inspiration is defined as aroused, animated or imbued with the spirit to do something.  In other words, you experience a calling.  Your work is effortless as it relates to your end result.  You are pulled forward and you experience elation.  Anthony Robbins tells us that the only reason we don’t have or do the things we want to have or do is because of the story we have around that thing.  If we change our story around our goals we can be inspired and move willingly and effortlessly towards them.

“That’s it!!” I am making a change today. I am going to the gym from now on. Have you ever looked in the mirror and said that to yourself. Then you run off and join a gym and in two weeks you stop going to the gym. Raise your hand if you have ever done this. I know that many reading this have experienced many “that’s it” moments and the inevitable results. Willpower fails every time. Every time.

Successful people in any area of life make success seem so easy. It is because they have created an environment and structures where the natural consequence is success. Matthew Ferry tells us that we have created structures in our lives that keep us where we are. What does your workspace look like? What about your closet? But, the biggest structure that we have created is the way that people know us and relate to us. Complaints, gossip, describing your life, rehashing your past are all ways that people relate to you. Matthew Ferry is an incredible coach and he says that, “Who you are is not who you are inside it is who the people know you to be”.

How do people know you?

You should stop saying should

I believe that 99 per cent of our life is lived in our head. How we interpret what happens to us is what determines our quality of life. I am committed to helping everyone improve their quality of life.

Should is a comparison word. When we use the word “should” we are looking at the current reality and comparing it to how we want reality to be. Comparison is a major source of emotional pain. We look at people that appear more successful and we compare ourselves to them. We look at people that appear happier and we compare ourselves to them. We look at our past, romanticize it and then compare it to our present. This type of thinking creates emotional pain. We may not want to admit it but that is what happens. The use of the word “should” leads to depression. Comparison and frustration lead to depression.

All that information is good but how do I fix it? Forget yesterday, don’t worry about tomorrow. Take responsibility for today. If you are overweight, less than successful or less than happy, be responsible for your present situation. If you catch yourself saying “should”, replace it with “choose”. “Choose”, assumes responsibility. “Choose” takes back power. “Choose” is a call to action. “I choose to be overweight”. See how that feels then do something about it.

I love beginnings, I love Mondays, the beginning of the month and New Years Day. Every time, I make a decision to do better this week or this month or this year. I have finally after many many broken resolutions come to the realization that the decision to change has to occur at a different level. If I make a decision to start working out for example, I am setting a goal to fix my broken life. I know this sounds harsh but essentially that is what it is. Another example is when I make a resolution to stick closer to my budget or to my schedule, both of these examples are a decision to fix problems. I guess the point I am trying to make is that when you make a goal or a resolution then you are moving away from pain. Anthony Robbins tells us that the two pillars of motivation are pain and pleasure and most of us prefer to move away from pain. He also reminds us that moving towards pleasure is the cool thing to do so most of us will couch our communication in a way that makes our goals sound like we are moving toward pleasure but in reality we are moving away from pain. The other problem with goals and resolutions is that we are only addressing one specific area of our life. My contention is that to truly change the change must be global in nature. The example that comes to mind is weightlifting. If we want to strengthen a specific muscle with weight lifting exercises the we attempt to isolate that muscle but if you consider the exercise there is no way to isolate one muscle for work or growth. Every exercise will recruit other muscles to support the weight and move it. A stricter adherence to a schedule just like a bigger bicep requires support and help from surrounding structures.

So then, we attend motivational seminars, read books and make new resolutions. We attempt to get motivated. The problem with this is that motivation assumes that you do not want to do the task in the first place. I need a motive to work out. I need a motive to be better on my schedule. I don’t want to do it in the first place therefore I need a motive and reasons to take action. Motivation is not the answer.

Matthew Ferry will ask you who are you “Being”. Anthony Robbins says that in order to make change quickly and easily then you want to make a change on an identity level. I believe that we have an underlying assumption that colors all of our decisions and actions. The metaphor that comes to mind is that we are in a race but we chose our shoes so long ago and then forgot about them. Now we are racing and the shoes affect our ability to run but we do not consider changing them because they have been with us for so long that it is not even an option. The beauty and most encouraging aspect of this approach is that to make positive changes in your life you get to choose who you are going to “BE”. You get to choose. I was “Being” a hard worker that nothing ever works out for. I have chosen to “Be” an incredible example of success for my children. The ultimate man. Take a few minutes and try that on for size.

Decide who you are “Being”, then sit quietly considering how that new state of being will change your life. Would you still be friends with your current friends? Would you still work where you are working? Would you still interact with your loved ones the way you do now? As you sit considering that, you begin to realize that it is a global change, and that global change will make a positive impact on all areas of our lives. ALL areas of our lives just by changing how we view ourselves. Make a decision to think of yourself differently and in all situations remind yourself of who you are being. This new view of yourself must be reinforced constantly until it becomes a part of you. If you look at highly successful people and compare yourself to them you innately know that the main difference is that they see themselves, they believe themselves to be different.

“The key to financial fitness is preparation. Whether preparing for retirement, college for your children, a dream vacation home or even the unexpected, everybody needs to take time each year to reexamine what they’re doing and the progress they’re making in order to reach those milestones,” says Christopher Pinkerton, senior vice president, North American sales and marketing for Foresters, a leading fraternal benefit society that assists people in achieving financial security.

Saving Money
A good rule of thumb is to set aside three to six months of salary for unexpected events such as a job loss, major car repairs or large medical bills. In addition to preparing for the unexpected, identify ‘known expenses’ that are coming up such as college costs, a new home, new car or a new addition to the family, and build them into your budget. Give yourself adequate time to save for these expenses a little each month. Before you know it you won’t even feel as if you’re saving and you’ll be a step ahead.

Taxes
They’re definitely something you can count on year after year. Review the withholding on your paycheck and adjust it if necessary. Take time to gather and sort out your receipts from the past year to identify tax deductions. While you’re at it, set up an organized system to keep track of receipts for next year, so you don’t misplace something and miss out on any deductions moving forward. And speaking of deductions, this is also a good time to determine which charitable contributions you made in the previous year, and which ones you plan to make in the coming year.

Retirement
Review the status of your 401(k), IRA and pension plan. If appropriate and consistent with your savings goals, sign up for any automatic increases offered through your employer. Take note of your retirement plan status at this stage of your life — are you on track for growth, or is it time for an investment change? Even periodic small changes can have a big impact on your ability to build strength through investments.
Mark your calendar to review your investment performance with a financial advisor each quarter.

Estate Planning
It is a good idea to plan for your family’s financial security. Do you have a will, trust or health care directive? If so, review the beneficiary designations to make sure the plans reflect your current wishes. Ensure that you have a guardian named for your children, and that you’ve outlined how your assets will be transferred.

Also at this time, consider whether there will be significant tax consequences for your survivors, who has title to what property and who will oversee your estate plan. If you don’t yet have these items in place, an estate planning professional can help you sort things out, saving your family added complications upon your death. Your family will appreciate your forethought and be comforted by knowing that you made plans for them.

Life Insurance
An important step in financial fitness is financial security, and life insurance can be the backbone of financial security.

Remember, life insurance is the piece of the puzzle that makes sure your family can keep the house, send the kids to college or sustain the family’s livelihood if there’s a loss of one or both income providers. Some life insurance products can also provide savings and investment options for a home, a family bequest or a dream vacation.

Conventional wisdom recommends households should carry anywhere between two to 10 times your annual income in life insurance.

If you don’t have a life insurance policy — or any of the other financial plans mentioned above — now is the time to get those parts of your life in shape. With the help of qualified professional advisors, you can put a financial fitness plan in place and prepare both you and your loved ones for the future. www.foresters.com